More about me…

My “Why” involves many things, playing soccer as a little girl on boys teams, being the middle child between two sporty brothers, taking on my fears as a racer in frigid East Coast mountains, traveling to Asia searching for ways of being that were different from my own, and countless adventures, heartbreak and unexpected connections that many of us experience.

The story I want to share with you is still ongoing each day. It’s about my path to finding new strengths, deeper breaths, greater compassion and continued curiosity when it comes to being in my body.

In October 2021 I was surfing with friends and had been battling some back aches and unusual soreness, but when I was out in the water trying catch one last wave, I felt my entire left hamstring and calf seize up, so much so that I had to swim to shore to get out, instead of riding one last wave in. I was so used to feeling discomfort and pushing it way down into my body where I could no longer think about it or problem solve it, so I did the same with this. Within a week, during a soccer practice with my daughter, I pulled a hamstring. Here I was, 43 years old, loving the way I got out into the world in my body and with my community. Now I was suddenly hobbling around and feeling a little scared.

One thing led to another and before I knew it I was dealing with severe bilateral hip pain and tried all the things. Chiropractic, old rehab/mobility programs, online searches, primary care doctors, acupuncture and massage. By Winter of 2021 I had been in so much pain and was so confused about what was going on that I agreed with my insurance provider’s physical therapist to trust his “Low Back Protocol” (even though I’d been complaining of hip pain), for 3 months. He assured me that if I was a good patient and did my homework, this would resolve itself or we would get an MRI. 4 months later, nothing changed, and after crying in the PT office, saying, “something is in my hips, something is wrong and nobody is listening to me”, I saw a local female mentor who is a master in the field of movement patterns and dysfunction, and she guessed that my pelvic floor may be to blame for part of the issue. She sent me to a specialist in pelvic floor physical therapy, and with one look at my body, the woman said, “I know exactly what imaging you need to get. Im pretty sure the problem is in your hips and I think we can work it out”.

Long story short, these two women who were outside of the standard care provided by my insurer were the only two people who saw me, assured me they were listening to me, and asked me to trust them so that we could work as a TEAM to figure this out. I was a collaborator, an equal, and a valued client. Most importantly, they planted a seed in my thinking. I wondered if maybe I am really the person who knows my body best, and that I may be putting too much into the hands of my primary care doctor or anyone else on a healthcare team. After continued work with this power duo, I learned where to look for ideas and approaches to my issue, how to move through it, and how to see this as simply a pattern that could be altered, not a broken body. It changed the trajectory of my life. We all need specialists and people we can count on for help and direction. At the end of the day, however, we are alone with our bodies and know them far better than anyone else. If we find the quiet to listen to what is happening and what is needed, we will connect with our bodies and the world in such a more dynamic and graceful way.